Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming to the funeral. This is the day that this game has officially died. Today we celebrate the life of, wait a second. Excuse me! I meant to say today we celebrate the death of concord. A life that was cut short, but it wasn’t fast enough. A game with the development, marketing, running the servers, and more add up to about $200 million dollars to produce. People that had wasted eight years of their lives to created. A game that only manage to sell a sad 25,000 copies. A game that 99.99% of the world’s population didn’t gave a flying rat’s ass about. This dumpster fire was so glorious that Sony decide to pull the plug less than two weeks on the market. At least Sony was nice enough to give out refunds to all the people that was dumb enough to buy this.
Before we move on, I want to thank all of the tens of people that wasted their time playing this catastrophic disaster for attending today. Wait I thought that modern audience would attend as well. Hell, if they didn’t buy the game that they been praising for its diversity and inclusion, then we should had known that there is no way in hell that they bother to show up for the funeral. We all agreed that this piece of s*** shouldn’t never see the light of day in the first. We all have to question what the hell that Jim Ryan was thinking when he saw this woke crap? If crying lying piss in his pants Jimmy Ryan had an IQ above 20, then he wouldn’t buy fire walk studios. Or at least cancelled this sorry ass game after he bought the studio.
Now let’s take a moment of silence of all of the woke characters that everyone loved. Just kidding! No one with an ounce of common sense would love these abominations of both art and nature. I will not go through all of them. Mainly because I don’t have the time, the patience, and a flying s*** too. In fact, I didn’t give a damn learning their names. I will point out a few stand outs (use that very loosely). How we do not forget these (special) characters. Like the fat black woman. I am using the word woman loosely. She is a tank in the game and most likely weight as much as an actual tank. Then we have the Dax rip off. We have the character that comes closest to actually being good looking, but her head is in a clear box for some reason. Let’s forget the old granny that should be in a nursing home. The new trans character that just release today. Now she or whatever pronouns she wants to use will never get a chance to shine. Now for the most infamous one, the gay robot. The robot that doesn’t have a penis to f*** any man. Why make the robot gay? Don’t know.
Thank you all for listening to my eulogy. Instead of giving concord a proper burial, let us all pee and take a s*** on its rotting corpse. After we all finished, let’s set the corpse ablaze. Thank you all for attending.